The ‘Fresh’ Babe & the PREGNANCY SAGA… Some Essential things you need to know (Part 2)

Teenagers and their tantrums (mood swings)!

Initially when I started talking and interacting very closely to young persons (most especially teenagers), I felt bad when few of them threw your ‘help’ back at you- honestly it can be really painful. Although over time, I discovered that you have to be extremely patient and very wise in your interactions with them.

giphy- mtchew

When they always want to have it their own way… Patience and Utmost Wisdom is key!

At times, they could neglect your advice as though it doesn’t matter but don’t let it get to you if you are the one offering the advice as an older person, they would still come back to yield to you if the advice is given in a place of love. In some other instances, they could even give you the I don’t care attitude… depicting that- It’s my life, I can choose to live it the way I please.

Nigerian GIFS TENOR OKAY O

Try not to let it get to you. Don’t be too bothered. Exercise patience!

You can’t overcome hate with hate. It won’t work! You can only overcome hate with lots of love.

Keep loving on that teenager that everything seems to be going wrong for or that is involved in things you aren’t pleased with, he/she might not express it but I am certain that he/she is deeply grateful for your show of care, love and attention.

Now, let’s get back to my initial post on some of the things you need to know about Teenage pregnancy:

What could lead to Teenage Pregnancy?

  • Poor access to correct information and reproductive health services
  • Misinformed message from parents (e.g. if a boy touches you, you would get pregnant! and hence the child out of curiosity wants to further explore especially when she discovers that that statement wasn’t true).
  • dont follow boyfriend o
  • Early sexual activity
  • Early/Forced Marriage
  • Sexual Abuse (rape/incest): This is becoming worrisome these days especially incest. A lot still needs to be done in curtailing these vices.
  • Peer Pressure.
  • Sexual Relationship for material gain (sugar daddy)
  • Co-habitation (Male and female living together and performing the duties of married folks!)

Signs and Symptoms of Pregnancy

The following signs and symptoms are associated with pregnancy:

  • Missed menstrual period
  • Breasts enlargement and tenderness
  • Nausea
  • Vomiting
  • Frequent Urination
  • Fatigue and Dizziness.

 

If you have any of these signs and symptoms, visit the nearest health facility for a pregnancy test.

Why is Teenage Pregnancy Risky?

A pregnant teenage girl faces a higher risk of complication in pregnancy than an older woman because her body is not fully grown. Girls who become pregnant early may find it difficult to deliver because their pelvis is too small for the baby to pass through it. When a delivery is delayed for too long and the girl is not taken to the health facility quickly, there can be serious complications which can cause the death of the girl and or her baby.

image-2

Image showing a lady in distress   (Image Source: Google Stock Images)

How Does Pregnancy Affect Teenage Girls?

The effects of teenage pregnancy can be physical, emotional and social:

Physical Effects of Teenage Pregnancy

  • Anaemia (Shortage of Red Blood Cells)
  • Hypertensive disease of pregnancy
  • Premature labour and delivery
  • Prolonged and obstructed labour
  • Miscarriage
  • Vesico-Vaginal Fistula (VVF) – A condition where the girl passes urine without control.
  • Recto-Vaginal Fistula (RVF) – A condition where the girl passes faeces without control
  • Unsafe Abortions

VESICO-VAGINAL-FISTULA-VVF-370x320

Emotional Effects of Teenage Pregnancy

  • Regret, shame and/or depression
  • Fear and embarrassment
  • Low self-esteem.
  • Fear of the immediate and the future consequences.
  • Disappointment and self-hatred
  • Being forced to marry someone you may not love

Social Effects of Teenage Pregnancy

  • Expulsion/Withdrawal from School
  • Financial dependence on parents or other family members to support herself and her baby
  • Rejection from the family, relatives and friends.
  • Stigma and social isolation from friends/peers.
  • Depression
  • Low Mental health and its associated tendencies.
doreen_camfed_child_bride.png__1500x670_q85_crop_subsampling-2

Most times, the FEAR of the UNKNOWN alongside the associated STIGMA is a major issue for the Teen Mum. They really need the RIGHT SUPPORT SYSTEM to see them through this phase of life and not the accusing fingers been pointed at them. (Image source: Google stock images)

 

In order not to make this post too long, I would end it here and continue later on how teenage pregnancy affects THE GUYS.

I’m sure you look forward to reading about that.

Thanks for following through thus far. Kindly comment, share and also follow my blog. Lets interact, I look forward to hearing from you.

I love you.

#YouthAdvocate #AdolescentHealth #TeenagePregnancy #SexualMatters #FamilyPlanning

 

 

 

The ‘Fresh’ Babe & the PREGNANCY SAGA… Some Essential things you need to know (Part 1)

‘Things’ must have really happened during the Yuletide season judging from my recent observations in this month of January. Hence I just had to write on it. Now I understand why it was termed ‘Detty December’… because for this adolescents, It must have been really dirty ‘detty’. Lots of calls came in to me from teenagers showing that they are scared and they were asking for my help but first I really do calm them down and encourage them to speak their mind because bottling it all up isn’t ideal.  Here’s a few of what  has happened:

Bimpe (not real name) called me and said she’s really scared that she hasn’t seen her period this month and its making her extremely worried. I calmed her down ensuring her that probably it just delayed and would soon show up.

Surprisingly, Cassy (not real name) too called me about two days later that she’s afraid because her parents would either kill her or disown her if they find out she is pregnant because she hasn’t seen her period too and right now- it seems her whole world is coming to an end.

giphy (2)

Source: Giphy.com

Now, Ifunanya (not real name) just made me speechless – Just yesterday, The 14 year old girl also reported that she did some ‘detty things’ in December and now it seems her world is crashing down because its almost the last day of the month and she also hasn’t seen her period. 

CHINEKE GIF

Source: Giphy.com

Quick questions:

  • As a young lady, Is not seeing your period early a sign that you are pregnant? What if the period delays unnecessarily due to some varying factors. 
  • What if the young lady have hitherto used some drugs or morning-after-pills that has disrupted the normal cycle hence causing the flow to come at a later time? This and many more questions is what is required to be found out from the young ladies in question before we proffer solutions.

Wait a minute- Do you think I’m responsible for these ladies pregnancy scare or period delay? Definitely, Not!

HOWEVER, HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS ON THESE:

As an Adolescent-health ADVOCATE and youth friendly personnel, I get calls like this quite often because teenagers of nowadays aren’t relating so freely with their parents as they ought to especially on matters pertaining to their sexual health which is worrisome. Hence they find it extremely easy to relate with me on these private matters pertaining to them, these teenage girls call me and bare their hearts, they tell me all that it is needed to be known.

scolding-child-938x535

Source: Google Stock Images

This is a passionate plea for parents and caregivers to create that time for these young ones (both male and female) especially in this new decade before things gets out of hand. The hormones of these young ones are raging and it seems they are basking in the euphoria of the moment of temporary joy when they profess love to one another not caring about the aftermath of their actions.

Sweet sweet love

A Lot of  teen girls discuss freely with me, they find me very approachable and quite easy to talk to. Moreover I would say I’m also a very good listener and I’m never judgmental when it comes to young people’s issues. Hence, I strongly believe that every parent, guardian or caregiver can do much more and provide the right counsel for these young ones if they are properly equipped with the right knowledge which would enable them to be less judgmental. Furthermore if parents decide to be much more intentional by creating the time for these young ones this year irrespective of the harsh economic realities, there would be a reduction in immoral vices amidst young guys and ladies.

Although I also get very worried when they call me pertaining to certain issues because some of them willfully engage in different atrocities. After all their escapades, worry now sets in for the ladies when they have not seen their monthly flow and it is at this period that you see fear written all over their faces, they are always scared. What I hear most times in this manner is- “Mr Ay, I’m so worried, I haven’t seen my period and its meant to have arrived… I’m finished’

Hence rather than getting more calls like that, I decided to educate my young teens on teenage pregnancy and the essential things they ought to know. Knowledge is power and the right knowledge liberates you completely from every form of ignorance.

IMG-20191206-WA0080

One summary from our discussion is that these young girls are always seeking love but most times they get it from the wrong places. Also, I discover they have been having some shady deals with their boyfriends and now that the deed is done, they are scared of the proposed aftermath.

A major thing to note as young ladies, is that once you are sexually active and you have used some drugs at one point or the other (such as the morning-after-pill and others in that category), there is a possible likelihood that this would alter your menstrual cycle and hence cause a disrupt in your normal flow. In other words, it might not come when you fully expect it to come due to changes in your physiological mechanism and hence the anxiety and panic starts to set in.

images (1)

Word of Caution:

A lot of young ones these days engage in foreplay, oral sex,  and all sorts all in a bid to fulfill their lustful desires in as much as they don’t get pregnant.

Young guys too tends to try all sorts, mixing different drinks and taking in drugs just to get ‘high’ and feel macho amidst their friends.

This acts aren’t Ideal. It predisposes you to risk factors hence I would strongly advice young ones to desist from this.

TEENAGE PREGNANCY (What you need to know)

Teenage pregnancy is defined as a pregnancy which occurs in a girl below the age of 19.

Oftentimes, having a baby for teenagers may be challenging as they may be not physically, emotionally and socially matured enough to take care of the baby.

11yearold by stepbrother

Pic of a Teenage Mother. Source: Google Images

Early sex and lack of correct information about reproductive health often puts girls at risk of teenage pregnancy.

Taking care of a baby can be demanding and stressful and can deny completion of school so it is important for teenagers (both girls and boys) to be informed about how to prevent teenage pregnancy.

Pref

How Does Pregnancy Occur?

Pregnancy occurs when a boy and girl have unprotected sexual intercourse. The sperm cell produced by the boy unites with the egg produced by the girl to form a cell which grows inside the girl’s womb as a baby for about nine months before delivery. A girl can get pregnant if she has sex just once or for the first time. There is also a risk of pregnancy if the sperm of the boy comes in contact with the girl’s vagina through other forms of foreplay.

Have you heard of the virgin that got pregnant through some acts of foreplay by her boyfriend? This is the real-life experience of a young lady, You can read her story or google more about her book. 

Personally, I’ve read the book (Mrs Olamipeju’s book) and I was greatly blessed and enlightened by it. Hence you might also say she depicted the biblical virgin Mary, I agree with you. This is one of the reasons why I always advocate for Sexual Purity (mind, soul and body) which is complete abstinence and not just virginity which is only devoid of penetrative sex.

In order not to make this post too long, Here’s the end of this post (Part ONE).

We would continue in the next post.

Follow my blog and kindly drop your comments for us to interact.

I love you.

#AdolescentHealthMatters #Teenagers #Pregnancy #Sex #Virginity

 

 

WELCOME TO YEAR 2020

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

Welcome to a new decade!

a new decade

Just like yesterday, I remember the crossover night of year 1999 into year 2000 (the very first decade). It was during my Nursery & Primary school days. I was just 8 years old at that time and was in Primary 4 preparing to enter the final class of primary school. That year,  there were lots of commotion in my area and people were running helter skelter thinking that the end of the world has come and that the Rapture was about to happen (for the Christians). Amazingly, the cross-over service (or fondly called, WatchNight service) was packed full to the brim with everyone scrambling for space and ensuring that the new year meets them inside the church. Individuals that you least expect to see in church would come around that day and Its so funny that the custom has continued ever since…

We are grateful that some of us have witnessed 2000 – 2009 (the first decade); 2010 to 2019 (the second decade) and now here we have Year 2020… Its simply amazing.

Hence my charge to you this year and in the start of this decade is to BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT. Growth in all phases of your life is highly essential. You cannot keep doing the same things over again and expect a different result. Change your approach to life.

I would highlight four major things:

A) Be more DISCIPLINED:

Discipline yourself in the use of your mobile phone (surfing the internet especially the social media- chatting on WhatsApp, Following friends WhatsApp Status and Instagram Stories, checking out pics on Instagram/Facebook, looking out for ‘savage replies‘ on Twitter, Following trends on Twitter, Watching non-beneficial YouTube Videos e.t.c.). You really need to put a check on these things hence it would affect you subconsciously. The effects would be gradual and before you know it, it has creeped in and its greatly affecting your productivity.

distractions

Discipline yourself in the things you consume, Stop being a Glutton. Also reduce your intake of Junks and fatty foods.

Discipline yourself with your body. Exercise as often as you can, Consume more fruits.

Exercise

Bodily Exercise Profits. It helps you stay alert and keeps you FIT.   Source: Google Images 

I know you are familiar with these things already but please in this year 2020, try to be a DOER. BE INTENTIONAL.

B)  STOP PROCRASTINATION!

Stop Procrastinating! I wish i can mention your name, pull you by the ears and tell you to stop procrastinating like our mothers do. But I can’t do that, you need to do it yourself- pull yourself by the ears and speak some sense to yourself. Are you lazying around? Are you sleeping too much? Do you just like delaying unnecessarily? How valuable is time to you?

Concept of procrastination. Worker shelves his business. Flat vector illustration.

 

Whatever you ought to do, Do it fast. This can’t be emphasized enough. You need to stop the last minute gasp and rush in doing things. It would help you significantly. This comes from proper organization.

DO IT NOW

ENSURE YOU DO THAT PRODUCTIVE THING NOW!  Source: Google Stock Images

 

What to do: Have a daily checklist on things you ought to do and put a time to it. This would aid your productivity.

C). READ WIDE

Read Books. Read wide, Read outside of your field. Knowledge gives you a proper sense of self-worth. It also helps to build your confidence and you would be Versatile.

read wide

Great Books either in soft (PDF) or hard copy enriches your being. Keep Reading! Source: Google Images

You can also make use of audio visuals. This aids learning in a quicker manner.

There are a lot of great books written with great insight from authors of deep revelation and super understanding of the subject matter. You can tap into their wealth of knowledge and experience.

read

Develop a Reading plan this year.  Have a separate note to jot down the lessons acquired!

 

I remember the year I read the book titled: TRUMP, probably about 4 years ago.

It was really an amazing book for me and I learnt a whole lot about the personality of Donald Trump even before he became President of United States of America (USA). It was in the book I first learnt about ‘pre-nuptial agreements’ and how it applies over there, I never knew anything of sort existed. Note: I read the book ‘TRUMP’ before Donald Trump even became the President of the United States… before he even started his political campaign. 

How did I get access to the book? We were packing out of our medical hostel rooms (there is always a reshuffling every year into new rooms) and students were discarding lots of materials that were no longer useful to them. Suddenly I saw the book close to a pile of dirts near the already filled dustbin, the book was still intact and I was surprised that It was about to be discarded. I picked it up, dusted it and decided to peruse the information contained in this book. Alas, It was a really interesting wealth of knowledge I found. One valuable thing I also learnt  from that book was PERSISTENCE, that is, It is only your persistence that would make some highly influential and well-to-do individuals honour your request for invitations and other things of sort. You need to keep trying no matter how many times you get turned down or you fail. Learn from your mistakes and be better in your approach.

My point is: Develop your Mental Capacity. Have an attitude that always desires to learn new things and work at the implementation of whatever you have learnt.

D). DEVELOP YOUR SPIRIT MAN

Your Spiritual Growth is highly important. Find time out of your busy routine and tight schedule to create a moment of meditation to God. Learn to listen to God more this time. A lot of mistakes were made earlier in past years due to the choices you made because you felt you knew it all.  “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not upon your own understanding. In all your ways, Acknowledge Him and He would direct your path” (Proverbs 3: 5- 6)

God Speaks to His Own and doesn’t stop speaking, the main question to ask is: Are you TUNED in? Case study, If a radio station is playing and I’m not tuned in to that particular wavelength/ frequency- I definitely won’t hear them.

Hence, Are you listening to Him, Is there a quietness in your Spirit to hear him?

Take some time early in the day to study the word, MEMORIZE some scriptures and pray earnestly. It charges you up and builds you greatly.

Feed your spirit MAN.  Stop feeding your FLESH! Whichever ONE you feeds the more, GROWS.

spiritual growth

You become more Fruitful by ACTING UPON the WORD.  Source: Google Images

Meditate on these things I’ve shared with you. 

Have a fruitful year 2020.

 

I love you.

Thanks for following through.

Baby Girl – Episode 3 (An Enlightenment Series on Rape)

Thanks for following the Baby Girl Series thus far, I greatly appreciate it and I hope you have learnt from some of the things shared. The essence of this posts is to enlighten us from my field experience on Sexual Assault issues, all what we need to know and how to prevent them. Hence, If you missed the first two episodes –  kindly go through my previous posts (Episode 1-  Click here ;  Episode 2 — Click here!

This post would be highlighting another occurrence of sexual assault that happened recently..

 

A young lady was sexually assaulted by someone very close to her, It was really pathetic. It was someone she had hitherto trusted deeply and hence this occurrence left her shattered and traumatized. She came around with a relative of hers to meet with me in Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH), Idi-Araba, Lagos and I alongside members of my team (MINE Teenage Ministry) was able to help out first by providing some Pyschosocial counselling. Thereafter, She was directed and appropriately counselled by a Medical Consultant of ours in Family Medicine Department and after which she was directed to take a series of tests (medical investigations) to ascertain her current state of well-being. Some of these tests and laboratory procedures included: High Vagina Swab, Hepatitis Virus Screening Test, Retro-Viral Screening (RVS), Pregnancy Test, and a few others . She carried out all of these laboratory investigations and we continued to monitor her progress with  the required follow-up medical investigations and appropriate counselling.

For the sexual assaulter, We’re glad that the Lagos state domestic violence and sexual response team is very active.. they don’t take matters of this nature lightly. They always apprehend all these sexual predators.

(NB: In case you are a sexual assault victim in Lagos state and you require some help, Kindly note down this helpline: +2348137960048 and the reporting platform code is to dial: *6820#))

Hence.. In this Episode, I would be enlightening us on what to do in case of rape. No one wishes this to happen but a lot of young guys and ladies need to be properly enlightened on what to do just in case a loved one falls victim.

Kindly follow me:

downloadpic

WHAT TO DO IN CASE OF RAPE

Do not remove your clothes or clean your body to keep the evidence. If survivor is menstruating, pads and tampons should not be thrown away but also properly kept in a bag.

Go to the nearest police station to report the crime so that necessary investigation and arrest can be made. Ensure you give police or the law enforcement agency any clothing stained or torn during the attack.

Go to the clinic or hospital immediately for treatment of any injuries/infection and prevention of any pregnancy or Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI).

Seek counseling with a trusted adult or professional; YOU DON’T HAVE TO KEEP IT TO YOURSELF! (There are also some friendly support groups like MINE Teenage Ministry that can help out)

You can ask for the result of the medical check-up as evidence if you want to press legal charges.

For legal services, seek help from a human rights or youth serving organizations.

You can also call +2348027192781 or send an SMS free of charge to 38120 for information on where to get help and support in your state.

HOW TO AVOID RAPE

Ayo Kajero

Ayokunle with his team enlightening the students at a Secondary School Outreach. Ayo Kajero is the National Outreach Coordinator of MINE Teenage Ministry (@mineministry)

It is important to remember that rape is not the survivor’s fault and that consent to any type of sexual activity is necessary to prevent and refuse sexual abuse.

Consent must be freely given; it cannot be under pressure, duress or coercion.

Consent is voluntary, mutual and sober agreement to sexual activity and it can only be given by someone who is able to give it. For instance, A child under a certain age depending on where you live or someone who is under the influence of drugs or alcohol CANNOT GIVE CONSENT. 

What part of NO IS IT THAT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

It is important for young people to recognize and avoid situations that can put them at risk of rape.

The following tips are useful to prevent rape.

  • Consent must be sought before engaging in sexual activities.
  • Trust your instincts and leave when someone is making you feel uncomfortable or in danger.
  • Be clear about your sexual limits when you go out on a date with someone. (Be firm in saying your abstinence- NO)
  • Do not collect gifts or money from anyone you know can demand for sex in return. (Although these days, you can’t fully ascertain but one thing to do is to be careful of the underlying intentions of the gifts you are receiving).
  • Be assertive when you say NO verbally and non-verbally to avoid confusion.
  • Do not take alcohol/drugs especially when you are out at parties or with someone you do not trust.
  • Report to your parent or any trusted adult if anybody touches you in a manner that makes you uncomfortable.
  • Trust no one except yourself.

Boys should join their efforts in putting an end to all forms of sexual abuse against girls (and boys) and learn to respect the rights of girls. Raping a girl does not prove that you are a man, if anything, it proves otherwise.

We also have individuals that are ever willing to help out amidst our team (MINE Teenage Ministry) if you are a victim such that you can get help quickly and in some other instances, you could be as well directed to where you would get more help professionally.

 

IMG-20190126-WA0003

Okunade Jesutofunmi, Current Coordinator MINE Teenage Ministry CMUL/LUTH Chapter, IdiAraba, Lagos.

ALWAYS REMEMBER THESE FRIENDLY CENTERS TOO and Here are some highly responsive 24/7 lines, NEVER STAY SILENT!

For individuals in Lagos state, the emergency number to call is 112 while the Hotline is 08137960048. 

  • MINISTRY OF YOUTH & SOCIAL DEV. CHILD PROTECTION UNIT: 08077333426, 08172457792
  • THE CECE YARA FOUNDATION CHILD ADVOCACY CENTRE: 07007007001, 0800 800 8001
  • WOMEN AT RISK INTERNATIONAL FOUNDATION (WARIF) : 08092100009
  • MIRABEL CENTRE (LASUTH, GRA IKEJA): 08187516199
  • MINE TEENAGE MINISTRY (LUTH CHAPTER, IDI-ARABA, LAGOS): 07039848277
  • LIFE AFTER ABUSE FOUNDATION: 08148090859

LFPA_Ayokunle Kajero

Let’s join hands in advocating against every form of violence.

#SayNoToRape #AdvancingAdolescentHealth #MenCanEndViolence #EndViolence

References

  • Comprehensive Sexuality Education Manual by Action Health Incorporated.
  • National Training Manual on Adolescent Health by Federal Ministry of Health and UNFPA (Revised 2011)
  • You, Your life, Your Dreams: Book for Adolescents by Family Care International and Straight Talk Foundation.

BABY GIRL – Episode 2 (An Enlightenment series on Rape)

This is the continuation of the BABY GIRL Series and I’m glad you followed through with the first Episode. If you missed it, Kindly click here.

This Episode would feature another BABY GIRL. This damsel is fair in complexion, very tall and amazingly very beautiful. She’s just 15 years old and like every young teenager, she has great dreams. She aspires to be a Medical Doctor.

I AM  AFRAID TO MARRY!Baby Girl said to me some weeks later during one of our follow-up sessions with her. She followed up that statement with a more disturbing one –  I am so scared of sex and I’ve been thinking that my marriage later in future might not work and would most likely be dissolved very fast.

I understand perfectly the reason why she uttered that statement. She had been sexually abused when she visited a man (that’s a story for another day) and that act left quite an indelible mark on her. Hence whenever she remembers, it brings about an epitome of fear upon her being.

Read More

BABY GIRL… EPISODE 1 (An Enlightenment series on Rape)

With all sense of modesty and humility, I’ve had several intimate discussions with teenagers (Young boys and girls) and I can confidently say these young minds are going through a whole lot. Trust Me…

 

The opportunity of interacting with them so closely is one of the things that our outreaches to secondary schools, Tutorial centers (aka Jamb/GCE lessons) e.t.c. exposes me to especially during the counseling and private health related adolescent matters.

Dr. Ayo Kajero undergoing a counselling session

Private Counselling at one of our Outreach Sessions..

We always try to ensure that the individual requesting for counsel is effectively counselled by a more mature figure in my team of the same gender in order to facilitate an effective follow-up.

Although some times, there is often a twist to it if we are having a greater population of a particular gender in a school requesting for attention and we have limited number of counsellors hence the need to be more discrete in our approach and facilitate the required solution.

For the purpose of this post, , there was an incidence –  a Real life experience (through our field work) that happened sometimes back which I would be sharing for the benefit of all.

It just happened that this seems to be a very peculiar case.  Its one of the numerous amazing intimate conversations that I’ve ever had and that we helped in providing a way-out.

This conversation was with someone I would refer to as ‘BABY GIRL’ for the purpose of this write-up. She’s a beautiful 13 year old with great potentials; she’s quite intelligent, very tall and slim for her age such that if you were meeting her for the first time in an outfit other than her school uniform, You might mistaken her for a model- because she fits perfectly into  the typical model description.

Here’s a brief of what happened to BABY GIRL:

‘Baby Girl’ called me one fateful day  using her mum’s phone in the midnight (around 12 am) and told me that she has certain things to discuss with me, she then told me that she is currently sneaking up to call me on her mum’s line because she doesn’t have an active phone (hence she would delete the call log on her mum’s phone afterwards) but that she wrote my number down when I came alongside with my team on different occasions to address them in their school. She knew what she was doing was quite wrong but she really needed a solution because some things were bottled up within her. I told her that I would create some time to be in her school the next day so we can discuss at length.

Fast forward to the discussion, She told me how she was enticed by one of her teachers who was quite generous and manifested greatly a free flowing money spending habit towards the students. The man was fair, had a white luxurious Jeep and was definitely into ‘something else’ other than teaching. Unfortunately It was a girls’ only school and this man’s subtle act endeared him to the heart of majority of the senior female students especially those from an indigent background.  Subsequently after some time, BABY GIRL had few close interactions with this teacher wherein she got some ‘free cash’ that helped sort out some stuff.

From there, the man capitalized on her basic needs (knowing that the family’s means of survival was an uphill task), constantly used money as a bait; took advantage of that and started arranging during school hours for her to meet him in undisclosed locations outside school where he takes her in his car to hotels, his residence and often times other unconventional places.  The teacher  took advantage of the girl’s minds so much that Baby Girl would go to school dressed in school uniform but in her school bag is another house wear/gown that she could easily change into. This man is in his late thirties or early forties yet he easily manipulated this young 13 year old girl and performed highly derogatory acts with this her.. Forcing himself through the anus of the girl, and lots of other sexual perversions which is better left unsaid than imagined.

When I was informed about this by BABY GIRL herself, It clearly showed that she wasn’t pleased with what had happened and was tired of bottling it up.  This evil man alongside other Perpetrators of disastrous acts such as this most likely always threaten their victims and usually always thrive on the secrecy of their rendezvous.

I alerted the counselor of the school, we sought BABY GIRLS’ consent to alert her mum so that proper medical checkup would be performed on her. The mother was pained, she cried profusely and was almost blaming herself for her child’s predicament. The school counsellor, a very matured christian mother was able to pacify the mother and we made progress thereafter.

Upon our intervention, BABY GIRL strengthened by her mother’s support had repeated visits to the hospital, was psychologically handled by a seasoned health professional  and thankfully she’s much better now. Of course, that man (the teacher) is no longer in the school! We initiated pressing legal charges against him since there were enough evidences and moreover since BABY GIRL was a MINOR but the parents were scared of the stigma for the young girl. We assured them that BABY GIRL would be safe AND NOT STIGMATIZED because she’s a minor and this is a serious Sexual assault case which would convict the man allowing him to be severely punished by the Government yet they didn’t agree.

These are some of the things that happen in this nation, parents are often times afraid to press charges when it comes to certain delicate matters and they don’t also want to use their hard earned money (cash that isn’t enough sef) in settling lawyers and court cases. It is simply ignorance because in cases where a minor is involved, It would be taken care of by the government against the perpetrator of such act and also there are even agencies that have been set up and are well equipped to prosecute cases like this. An example is the Mirabel Center affiliated with Lagos State University Teaching Hospital (LASUTH) amongst numerous others. Furthermore, in schools where some of these incidences occur, matters like these are treated ‘underground’ in order to protect the school name and in some cases the prestige/ego of the principal such that their tenure isn’t associated with such derogatory acts which could tarnish his/her name.

Yet in my opinion –  All these seems ‘selfish’ because the predator (the perpetrator and initiator of such act) could prowl on another young girl and make her his next victim using money again as bait hence the cycle could continue and our community would be endangered because the predator is yet to be severely punished.

MOLESTATION 7

A Minor is an individual either male or female that hasn’t attained the legal age of 18 years and is been forced or cajoled to do certain things which are oftentimes against their will but have to succumb to the elderly figure especially due to cultural or religious values…

MOLESTATION 6

Sexual Abuse facts involving boys and girls Source: Google Stock Images

This is one of the unforgettable memories I’ve had while interacting with teenagers in secondary schools during our teams’ (MINE Teenage Ministry) outreach visit to the schools, hence I would be enlightening us on some COGENT POINTS:

GOD’S LEADING AND EFFECTIVE FOLLOW-UP

It is very essential that a visit to a school by your organization geared towards an intervention strategy is committed into Gods hands and that He directs you effectively. He alone can help you such that all your acts are divinely and strategically led. Most importantly apart from the knowledge you have acquired over time, He alone can help you to speak seasoned words that would be needed or specific for that one teenager at that exact time because you never can tell what the young boy or girl is going through at that exact moment.

From my little experience, I would emphasize that after interacting with the teenagers in a secondary school or a tutorial center, It’s noteworthy to say that FOLLOW-UP is very essential. It doesn’t stop at that one time visit of your NGO or Religious organization but a continuous dedicated effort and well strategized team-plan which helps to breed trust, continuity and also helps the teenager to confide in you certain things that he or she might be going through.

SEXUAL ABUSE. What exactly is this menace?

Sexual abuse is sexual activity without consent, with perpetrators using force, making threats or taking advantage of persons. These acts can happen through images (pornographic images), physical abuse (rape), verbal (offensive comments or jokes) and non-verbal (staring and licking of lips). Sexual abuse can also happen in form of threats, bribes, humiliation, manipulation and violence. It often involves someone exercising power over another such as an adult over a young person to obtain sex.

MOLESTATION 3

We Need to all ARISE against this menace. Lets reduce this scourge.

What is Rape?

Rape occurs when a person penetrates the vagina, anus or mouth of another person with any part of his or her body or anything else without the consent of the other person. Essentially, it is when someone is forced, manipulated or threatened into having sexual intercourse. This can happen in any setting, at home, on a date or in public spaces. In most cases, girls and women are victims of rape but boys and men are affected as well. Rape is a crime. It can be a very painful and traumatic experience. Rape is an act of violence and humiliation which can lead to risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections including HIV. Many girls think that a rapist looks dangerous but it is important to know that a rapist can look like a harmless stranger or be someone close to you.

Here are some other forms of sexual abuse

Child Sexual Abuse: This is when a parent/caregiver or any adult or someone more powerful – pressures, coerces and/or forces a child (below age 18) to engage in sexual acts. The abuse can be physical, verbal or emotional.

Stalking: occurs when a person willfully and repeatedly follows, watches and/or harasses another person. It is a pattern of repeated unwanted attention, harassment, contact or any other course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.

Sexual Harrassment: is any unwelcome/unwanted sexual advances, requests for sexual favours, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature. Sexual harassment does not have to be of a sexual nature, it can be verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature. For example, sexual comments on a person’s physical attributes, kissing, or touching oneself sexually for others to view etc.

TEENS ROUGH PLAY

A very disturbing act of Sexual Harassment. Lots of young ladies experience acts like this in different forms (at schools, within their neighbourhood, on the streets, at parties – when dancing and lots more)

At schools, you see teenage young boys intentionally hitting the breasts or buttocks of a lady and feigning ignorance. Likewise, it’s also evident on the streets seeing street urchins harassing young ladies, hawkers and at times motorcycle riders engaging in all sorts to young ladies.

This is the end of EPISODE 1 in this Enlightenment SERIES.

I would be giving more information and engaging us better in the next post starting with ‘Myths about RAPE (The Misconceptions)’ and also I would be sharing some of my other experiences with teenagers.

Lets keep shining our light wherever we find ourselves.

Remember that EVIL PREVAILS when the seemingly GOOD PEOPLE SAY OR DO NOTHING. Don’t keep quiet, rather influence people positively in your own little space.

Kindly share this link/post to a friend. Your comments would also be well appreciated.

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you…

A SONG LIKE NO OTHER!

Have you ever listened to a song and you can’t help but put it on auto-replay, here is one of those songs.

Its titled FREEZE by MINE Teenage Ministry CMUL/LUTH Chapter featuring Chris Agape, an anointed minstrel.

Its a song you would love to listen to over and over again. You can click on the link below to download the song.

https://my.notjustok.com/track/400895/mine-luth-ft-chris-agape-freeze

Interestingly, you also stand a chance to win an amazing gift while you listen to the song. Just follow the E-flier by singing or dancing to the song and trust me the song has an amazing groove… You really can’t help but sing along.

IMG-20190607-WA0028

Would you like to sing along? Here’s a few lyrics to the song:

Chorus:

I’m living a life of Purity

Cos’ I know I’m Royalty

Waiting for who God kept for me

Ain’t getting high on no Hennessy

Bridge:

No Peer Pressure can ever change my mind

I’ve hidden God’s word in my heart

I’m Royalty

God’s Specialty

Ain’t turning back time around…

 

WORLD VIRGINITY DAY?

I’m quite sure that if you are hearing about this for the first time, Its might seem quite absurd and amazing to you that there is actually a DAY set apart to celebrate virgins and create a general awareness about Virginity. Don’t be too Surprised.

Wait a minute, Have you ever thought about it that If deadly diseases such as HIV/AIDS and other varying health conditions could have set days around the World to specially acknowledge those living with such conditions and help create some general awareness within the general populace…

Why not also celebrate something as glorious as Virginity in order to also help restore the dignity of sexual purity and help preserve the future of the coming generation in this world of ours.

IMG-20190605-WA0011

You would want to presume that this would generate lots of debate and rancour, its highly expected.

Do you know, It is celebrated every second Saturday in the month of June (Note down this date every year in your dairy).

You might also be wondering how it all started; who are the individuals or organizations behind it and many more questions. A ministry called MINE Teenage Ministry are the pioneers of this grand event and they have been very consistent at it over the years.

 

An acronym is also used to drive the campaign, #NOSUM. Have you heard about it?

 

You might also be wondering if the World Virginity day is secluded for just virgins? Not at all. Its for all who believes in the cause of Sexual PURITY and have decided to honour God with their bodies.

Another major question on your mind could be: Isn’t this a very risky campaign knowing the predators present in this world of ours?

God is ever faithful and just to keep protecting his own. He never leaves nor forsakes his elect.

 

The main focus is the YOUNGER GENERATION… If the foundation is preserved and properly nurtured, we would have an healthy generation of young adults.

IMG-20190605-WA0006

Be encouraged to join in the campaign and spread the word. WORLD VIRGINITY DAY has come to stay.

For the unmarried and young folks, FREEZE those sexual urges till marriage.

#freeze #worldvirginityday

More information about this event can be found from @mineministry on all major social media platforms (Instagram, Facebook, Twitter amongst others).

SAVE YOUR CHILD FROM SEXUAL ABUSE

Many young ones are crying silently…

Most of them are suffering in silence..

The ones they once trusted had taken undue advantage of them…

This is becoming quite prevalent in our SOCIETY..

Young girls from age 5 are already sexually active.. Its quite absurd

Here’s a very disturbing picture that I saw on the internet (A primary school pupil performing oral sex on an Elderly man). It grieves me so much. The wicked thing done again was now to take the picture of the innocent girl.

Primary_School_girl

Picture Source: Google Images

I am pained because in our outreaches and visits to secondary schools, I see a whole lot of these similar cases and I just can’t help but wonder- WHY?

Now, If an abuse is not quickly curbed, noticed and stopped, It can denegerate into an addiction to the young fellow who might later start to enjoy the molestation. This to me is one of the reasons for the menace of Immorality we have among young ones in the Universities and in our society today.

Girls of 15, 16yr old can’t estimate the amount of times that particular Uncle/Relative had carnally had his way with them.

Even Housemaids and Aunties are taking undue advantage of Teenage boys and exposing them wrongly to SEX

This menace is becoming worrisome.

be careful

Picture Source: Facebook

Our Children need to be able to trust their parents to tell them whatever it is that is happening to them.

Parents, Don’t be too quick to JUDGE your Child and rather DEFEND that relative of yours.. Investigate things for yourself and Don’t let your movements be predictable so that you can get concrete evidence against matters like this.

Let your child build that confidence required IN YOU.

We need to build the SELF ESTEEM of our children and also teach them in the WAY OF THE LORD.

Teach them to SAY NO at this very young age and ENLIGHTEN them about what they need to know.

Teenagers at this age are very smart and technologically inclined, If you don’t teach them the right things- someone outside or within their peer groups would teach the wrong things.

Here’s a link to a comedy yet inspirational video about SEXUAL ABUSE that you can learn from: https://youtu.be/hV-INLzV8FU

The video depicts an Abuser referring to himself as ‘Uncle in the Lord’ to a teenage girl in order to take advantage of her. May the Lord help us.

These things are really happening.

You can share your experience in the comments section. It would be deeply appreciated.

God Bless You.

Please follow my Blog if you haven’t and kindly like, comment and share.

I love you greatly.

Signed: AyNOSUM

 

LOVE IS STILL IN THE AIR

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS….688830ad6870f6973520d796deb85e45

DO YOU KNOW THAT LOVE IS REALLY IN THE AIR…. or Are You seriously doubting it?

oyinloluwa__-oyin-mfm-medilagdebo

IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THE ‘ROMANTIC’ KIND OF LOVE ALL THE TIME….(NOW THAT  FEBRUARY 14th HAS COME AND GONE, WHAT HAPPENS?)

HOW ABOUT SHOWING LOVE BY REACHING OUT TO OTHERS AROUND YOU….

THAT’S WHAT WE DEMONSTRATE PRACTICALLY AT M.I.N.E. TEENAGE MINISTRY…

WE HAD A PRE-VALENTINE FORUM FOR TEENAGERS ALL AROUND DIFFERENT LOCATIONS ACROSS NIGERIA AND IT WAS REALLY A ‘SWELL’ TIME, THE TEENS CANNOT FORGET THE LOVE SHOWN TO THEM… IT WILL  LINGER ON IN THEIR MEMORY.

true-love-lives

It was indeed so marvellous and super great at all the centers.. You really missed if you weren’t at any of the above locations. Stage play, conferences, dinner, school tour, music, dance, quiz, frenzy moments, and drama were some of the day’s highlights across the different locations.

Testimonies abound from the different centers nationwide and Even Ghana also.

Souls were also saved to the Glory of God.

Stay connected to this site as I feed you with the happenings most especially at the LAGOS CENTER II.

Note: If you haven’t subscribed yet, Kindly do so. It wouldn’t take you much time such that you can be receiving updates as events unfold.

God Bless You. I will always love you.

Keep Staying Pure.

#Jesusreigns #nosum #truelovelives